Causes of Traffic Jams on the Autobahn

Since arriving in Germany, until we move in to our permanent apartment, my company has provided me with a rental car, and we have taken full advantage of it by travelling to several places in Germany. Because of this, we have been listening to the traffic reports, and we're often amused by some of the explanations for traffic problems. Here is a short list.

Causes of Traffic Jams on the Autobahns (excluding accidents and road construction)
1. Defective vehicle (not too unusual)
2. Stuff (yes, the radio just said "there is stuff on the road")
3. An exhaust pipe (again, not too strange)
4. A bag of concrete (did someone check to see if it was really concrete?)
5. Dead wild boar (very specific, as opposed to the next)
6. An animal. (No indication of living, dead, size, species, potential to make a good lunch, etc.)
7. A large bird. (More specific than 'animal', less than 'dead wild boar'. Still, no status of its living-ness, or, more importantly, whether it might get off the road)
8. People. (OK, please be more specific. Are they people too dumb to know that they are walking on the autobahn? Are they walking? Camping? Living? Some guy picking up his bag of concrete that he dropped a few kilometers back?)
9. The literal translation is 'light machine'. Not sure what that is. Jeannette & I had a great time trying to figure that one out. And we still don't know.

OK, maybe that's not so interesting to you. For me, it is like a fun game, trying to figure out what they say (since the traffic reports are always said so fast).